Love’s Rhythm

Your lips felt like a velvet scarf

Moving freely across my skin

With no intentions of moving within

You fell across my path like a midnight star

Stopping my life with one big harp

You loved my smell with a summer’s breeze

Who would have known how you’d like to please

Our futures hold no locks or bars

Which way do you intend to lead our paths

With love no stronger than our hold

I fell for you with no big bolds

Which life do we lead in this day

Who knows but our love will never fray

We shall stay together no matter what

for this love is full of intentional plots

With the morning’s ray upon my cheek

I shall not dare to be as bold to speak

of truths untold within our souls

this love for you will never grow old

My life with you will never be dull

Our hearts are one, If truth be told

For you, my heart reaches no bounds

Sleep well my love

For you, I will be found

Defeated

Walking a distance in your shoes

I feel the pain that you went through

The things we lose in our lives

Can never be replaced

You can trust me to hold your hand

Don’t be afraid to cry my dear

For I am your shelter

Where there is no fear

We take the rough with the smooth

But nothing prepares you for that big loss

We swarm with anguish and tears

Until the sun comes up in the clear

I see him walking upon the hills

Watching your every move

Even though he went from our world

He is not far from your path

Be happy, my friend

For life never takes us far

Unless you are brave, like a midnight star

Wind and the rain may batter your shield

But it will not defeat

Whilst I am here

To hold your hand, until morning is near

Emotional Toy

The morning’s sun shining on your face

A warning came to me in the shades

such a beautiful morning such a beautiful day

Oh why oh why do you stay

when you play with my soul like you do this way

We met on the eve of the new moon

On the ocean’s cliff you sat with me

As we watched the twilight’s gaze

oh why oh why do you stay

When all you want to do is hurt me this way

You came out of the blue with a blast of emotion

Could I handle you that way

why is it we run round in circles with no intentions

Pulling at each others strings without any thought

why is it we play this way

Would it be right to say I loved you

When you toyed with me like a stray leaf in the rain

Should I look at you like I do

With no consequences of our ways

why oh why do you toy with me this way I

never thought I would like you as much as I do

But you used that against me for your small games

I am human and not a doll

Whatever it is you have gunned

It’s knocked me for six and I am done

Promised Love

You saw me across the room, You saw me for who I was
Through thick and thin you were my rock
You made me shine, with one look into my eyes
You captured my heart with the first morning’s sunrise

The touch of your hands upon my pale skin
Made me shiver and made me whim
Please stay with me, no matter what
And I’ll keep the same promise to you with my whole heart

You are my one but you had to go
Across the deserts and into the heat that you battled so
You fought with your heart till nigh passed
But your body never recovered from that evening past

So how come I stand here today, with you out of sight from my ray
I stand all alone, when you couldn’t come home
What did you see that took your attention away
I may not have your body but your spirit may well stay

Do not look back with a regret
For you my love, my promise is kept

A parent’s love

I felt you kick within myself

each day you took a new turn
You rested when I could do no more
With the love you naturally earned

You ask for nothing more than I can give
You scream
you pull
you cry
you giggle
and I still love you so

No matter how far you push me
No matter what life throws our way
I will protect you with my life
And promise to give you what is owed

I swore to dedicate my self to you
I chose to bare you my soul
I will teach you the lessons of life each day
Even when you are old

I watch you grow from strength to strength
You are my life from now
I am your mother, father and friend
from this I hope you know

But when it’s time to fly the nest
Please don’t comfort me as I cry with sorrow
These are not tears for you leaving but tears of what I had known

I am proud of you my son
Please go forth and follow your heart
For it is your new life waiting to unfold
As I stand and watch you go

Best Friend

The sweet smell of spring
The freshly cut grass
I exhale deeply into myself
And remember what could have been

We ran round in circles within our field
No secrets held between us
I grasped your hand firmly in mine
To make a promise that would last our whole life time

Our hands held a locking grip
Through thick and thin
No matter where we were in the world
Our souls stayed within

Standing here you whisper secrets to me
That no one else could hear
Out from my shadow you reappear
For I am who I am today
I have you to thank in every single shape and way

Grandpa

Grandpa you are my friend
You are always right by my side
You’re an angel watching over me
In every moment of my life

I know for sure
You’re one of a kind
Another like you
Would be hard to find

]]> http://kenneh.wordpress.com/2009/07/03/poems/feed/ 0 bluemoonjosie http://kenneh.wordpress.com/2009/06/19/entwined-pt-3/ http://kenneh.wordpress.com/2009/06/19/entwined-pt-3/#comments Fri, 19 Jun 2009 21:46:00 +0000 bluemoonjosie http://kenneh.wordpress.com/?p=23 ]]> That night, my dream returned but with a difference this time.

I return, standing there in the same unfamiliar hallway in a daze, I looked into the mirror in front of me. My eyes seem different, more awaken to my surroundings, looking closer I can see that they are were no longer the sky blue colour that Nate had always found so fascinating but more of an emerald green. My hair is much longer than usual and flowing with grace, draping around the contours of my face, somewhat accentuating my features, with no effort I actually look like I’ve just stepped out of a photo shoot!

There’s that smell again, inviting me to come closer and the sense that he was there watching me again, just like he was in the Rec. But I turn and walk out the front door and into small the cul-de-sac, the sun was setting quicker than usual. As I scan the street a more recognizable scent surfs my way, why is that so tempting to me? He doesn’t seem to be far behind either, standing back in the shadows far enough that I can not see him but close enough to know where he is. I scan my surroundings again and stop to notice the red eyes staring at me through the bushes across the cul-de-sac, here we go again! I have to run, get away from here, it’s too dangerous for me to stay, it never was in this dream I had to run.

As I picked up my pace my heart started pounding uncontrollable, so desperate to burst out of it’s caged home. I zoned out of the street’s noise, the wild stretches coming from the woods didn’t bother me this time round, why was I more relaxed than usual? I run the course of the dream, with the red eyes watching, trailing every movement I take.

Suddenly the bushes across from me rustled violently, I was hesitant to stop but I knew I had to push on, this time more energetic with less effort.

A dark figured lunged for me from the bushes, just missing me by an inch, I dare look back, I couldn’t. But that scent wanted me to stop, I had to stop and turn to see why my attackers were so attractive to me but I didn’t!

Building up speed I broke through the wooded park, up into the hills and away from the unwilling danger that followed, but was I safe?

Looking out over Ruscombe from Crazies Hill, the village looked peaceful but I knew different, if only the locals knew the real truth to the darkness that followed sunset, would they still feel safe in the comfort of their own homes? Catching my breath slowly I realized I wasn’t alone, I knew I had to go, Flight or Fright, my mind screaming at me to run but my hear and body telling me to stay, that I had too!

I stayed out of curiosity mostly, taking a deep breath I turned around and prowled the tree line for my hunter. There he was, again standing back in the shadows but this time he moved forward, he seemed aware of my emotional state and approached with caution. My heart stopped with anticipation, I wasn’t afraid but I was more curious than ever, watching him approach me with such grace and care, if only the shadows would clear so that I could get a better look at this 4 legged creature that had been stalking me in my dreams and in my reality. The wind changed directions, towards me this time which took me by surprise, his scent hit me and I was hypnotized, I needed to see him and know more!

My thoughts had come true, the shadow lifted to produce a figure I wasn’t expecting. His body was built for hunting, strong, athletic but dominant in stature, his eyes were dark green, emerald almost and his fur was chestnut which shimmered in the flickers of the moonlight. He was beautiful but why was I feeling this way about a creature that had continued to always maul me at this point? This time was different, I sensed he wasn’t there to harm me but seemed like he was reading me, watching every emotional thought that could be seen streaming across my face.

He stopped about 4 meters from where I was standing at that particular moment in time, tilting his head to the right and letting out a small grunt of relief. Suddenly a voice out of the blue spoke to me with such grace, I couldn’t hear him as my concentration had lapsed.

“Erm…..I’m sorry, can you say that again please?”

Hoping I wasn’t sounding off, I waited, he spoke again.

“You’re here, don’t be scared, we are not here to harm you”

Trying to take this surreal moment in with the last sips of my concentration, I proceeded to carry on the conversation.

“Who are you? Why are you here? Want do you want from me?”

“Jennifer, I can not stay too long, this is breaking every rule bound into place but find us, find me and we will tell you what is needed”

I was caught off guard, how’d he know my name, I wanted answers but I knew I wouldn’t get them here.

“My name is Daniel, look for me when the next blue moon rises”

As he finished his sentence, Daniel crept back into the cover of the trees and then he was gone. What should I make of this, I wouldn’t know just yet but time has to reveal all, right? As I turned round to leave, my surroundings disappeared into a blur of white, awakening from my sleep.

With a sigh of relief, I sat up in my welcoming bed and thought it was just a dream…….or was it?

As the evening drew to a close, I said my good byes, wrapped myself up, ready to embrace the cold awaiting me outside the loneliness of the night outside. Walking through the recreational ground, I got a slight sense that I was being watched from a distance. Looking around, I could only see a fox scurry across the field, in search of it’s next meal.

It was rather windy tonight, being mid summer, you’d expect there to be still and possible humid airs but this is England we are talking about! Lucky if we get a month’s worth of heat, let alone a whole summer of it but I’m not complaining. Walking silently along the pathway, with just my thoughts of the past few nights, I didn’t even notice the rustling of leaves that the wind had brushed past me.

I was sure that Nate would be waiting in my living room for my return, of course, he knows how much I hate walking alone, sometimes I wish that 6th sense of his would kick in when I need it to! Shaking that thought away,I pushed it to the back of my mind for another occasion, possibly one where I would have the balls to say it to his face instead of clamming up like a 13yr old school girl with her first crush.

So, marching on I got to the edge of the Rec grounds, when I was startled by a blurred shape running across to the right of me in the distance. Turning to see what the fuss was about, I could see it lurking in the shadows, the red eyes, those red eyes from my nightmares! Staring out at me, like I was some kind of trophy it had to have in that split second. The dark figure prowled slower towards me, a voice in my head was screaming at me to run, run now and don’t look back but my body and curiosity got the better of me whilst I stood there, dumb founded and intrigued. That sent was vaguely familiar to me,making me want to go closure to this strange being and in that instance I knew what I was staring at wasn’t of human form.

It let out a low grunt in approval and then I knew it, my nightmares flashing back through my mind, scene after scene, where he would always rip at my flesh. He didn’t want to hurt me, him? Did I just think of it as a him!

I took a step closure to my predator in a strange hope that he would emerge from the shadows and come to me. Stretching out my left hand, I coaxed him gently but he growled and reclined further into the darkness that covered the trees. A strong gust of wind blew and rumbled the branches of his disguise and just then, in that second, he was gone and so was my strange sense of him.

Zipping up my jacket, I continued up the path, out through the Rec’s gateway and into the neighboring housing estate towards the warmth and comfort of my own home. I was actually, really looking forward to Nate’s company after that strange meeting, it threw me off guard, anxious if you will and I’d rather have someone around that I knew could look after me if things went downhill rapidly.

Stopping at the front gate, I placed my hand on the ice cold railings before moving on. I just couldn’t shake that familiar feeling, it was like I was being called for but why, why would I feel like this? I had a yearning for more, to run away with him into the black of the night, run freely with no troubles. Hoping that Nate hadn’t sensed this from me, I carried on through the gate. As I reached for my keys, Nate opened the front door, greeting me in no other way than he knew how to, when it cam eto me. Wrapping his cool arms around my shoulders and placing his addictive lips on my cheek, Nate said hi and lead me to the sofa.

“How was your evening, Jen?”

Nate was fixated on me at this point. What do I do, how do I act? Does he know what happened? God, I am rubbish at lying grrrrr! so I picked up the TV remote and focus my attention as I switched on Living TV, letting out a sigh.

” It was OK, nothing to brag about, I’m just tired to be honest. Can we just sit here tonight and relax, I’d really enjoy that”

Looking up at me, Nate took off his jacket and slung it neatly over the back of the single seated sofa before moving towards me. I sat up, giving him the access to slip in behind me, which he did with the grace of an Angel, how ironic!

“Jen, you smell weird, have you been around dogs this evening, by any chance?”

Uh oh, sussed! Damn it!

“Erm, come to think of it, yeah, Em’s has a Husky”

Lie!

“Well, it’s not a good smell on you but I can live with that”

If only he knew!

I ran my right hand through my bed hair, realizing that I had been sweating more than usual in my sleep as my hair stuck to my face like glue. I reached out for my bedroom door with my left hand, stopping still as I heard a creek on the stair case. I listened in silence for a minute and then heard Merlin purring, as he pushed his head between the wooden door and the rusted oak frame, welcoming me with those doting orange eyes of his.

Merlin is a ginger tabby, a warm and silk like texture that is my cat, a big ball of friendly fur, just waiting to be cuddled like a kid’s first teddy bear. Strangely, he turned up on my door step a year ago and never left.

I walked down stairs to the kitchen, I had only been living in this house for a month but it already felt like my own place and not one that I had rented.  I slipped on my white, cosy ugg like slippers that were sitting on the bottom step and slumped onto the kitchen tiles. Filling up the kettle, a nice cuppa tea would settle me before the day starts but standing there I no longer felt like I was alone in my house; I could sense there was someone other than me and Merlin here. As I turned around, I saw a shadow sitting in the front room, on the Chaise Lounge chair I had recently acquired. I walked towards the room, with caution, Merlin stood back unwilling to follow as I switched on the light and jumped! How had he got into my front room, why was he here at this time of hour and what did he want? 1000 questions whizzed through my headed and my recent nightmare relapsed throughout my mind!

“Good morning Jenny, you really should look your back door; you know anyone could walk in and take advantage of you!’”

The words flowed like a calming spring, trickling out with no effort on his behalf.

You see, Nate was always like this, I never saw him during the ‘normal’ hours of a day, he just popped in and out as he pleased, which I thought would have changed when I moved, obviously not! I met him 2 years back, when I was living in Ireland, I’d taken a year out after University and decided to trace my family routes, a lot of good it did me, I didn’t get passed Dublin but it still makes me chuckle to think of that year out.

Nate had shown up one night, in a pub I was working for as a barmaid, I needed the extra cash. I’ll always remember him drifting up to the bar, like an effortless breeze swaying an open door too and thro. He smiled at me, with no lack of confidence he opened a conversation, which dwindled into the wee hours of that Saturday morning. I felt comfortable with him; I didn’t feel a savageness that he was out to get that one thing and then bugger off, like a majority of men I had met over the years. He evened offered to walk me home, which I was ecstatic about, my mind wondering off like a 14 yr old school girl, rather than the 24yr old woman I was then.

I saw Nate near enough every night from that day.

Only having 3 months left in Dublin before I decided to move back home to Ruscombe, Berkshire. With this, I felt saddened that I may not see him again but as the days, weeks and months passed, he assured me he wouldn’t be far off. He saw something in me, something that I was unsure of and I swear he was pulling my leg about his thoughts that he would tell me each night. Before leaving me at the foot of my door, things became a routine and Nate would tell me I was more than I thought I was. He had a special way of leaving thoughts and words hanging, like it was a guessing game and at times I felt like I was playing a never ending ‘hangman’ with him.

As time passed, our friendship grew but strangely, it felt more than that to me, like I couldn’t be without him, just a silly thought really.

The night before I left Dublin, Nate paid me a visit and told me that he would be taking an extended visit to the UK, I didn’t realize at the time that he meant he’d stick with my shadow every single step I would take but this didn’t bother me.

So here I am, 2 years on and Nate still acts like we are ships passing in the night, as much as a pain this was, I never questioned his motives.  I took a deep breath and exhaled;

“Nate, you continue to scare the hell out of me; I swear I locked that back door! Why can’t you use the front door, like every other normal person”

Waiting for his response, I flopped my body onto the 3 seated sofa and curled up with my cuppa.

“I’m not normal but Jen, my dear, you have known this about me for a while now and yet you do still dispute my actions”

His soft, Glaswegian accent always caught me off guard, as I giggled and let this episode slide.

“At least put a lamp on, so I know you’re here, you still scare the crap out of me”

I yearned to be near Nate whenever possible, he was handsome in an old worldly sort of way, 6”1, the natural muscle type, big pale green eyes, his skin pasty, perfect white teeth, straight to the point that even a dentist would be jealous. When he smiled, he’d only ever revealed the front of his teeth, like he was holding back, the corners of his mouth would curl round his dimples. His hair, a mild brunette colour, would shimmer in any light, short and I swear his hair smelt like French vanilla. He had an addictive presence, one that I could never get over and needed, which he knew. His jaw line was chiseled, with high cheekbones, he would be 30 in our world by now but didn’t look a day older, to be honest, he could still pass for a 27 year old, this thought left me giggling a bit louder than I first imagined.

“Jen, what’s funny? Do tell, I could use some light entertainment after tonight”

His eyes lit up as he looked out the front room window, searching for something, maybe nothing, before his stare landed on me.

“‘Not much, just thinking about you and how you always end up here, round about the same time, near enough every night”

I looked to him for an answer, one I had wanted to ask for a long time now but knew I wouldn’t get, even if I did ask.

“I wonder the same thing lass, I try to stay away but you’re like a magnet to me”

His grin widened, showing a brightness through the lightly lit room before proceeding

” You had another nightmare”; this seemed to be a statement rather than a question.

“I do worry about you, Jen, these dreams are………. significant to some part of your life, they may have a meaning more than you can see”

Nate had caught me off guard with that last sentence, I had never really told him the full content of my nightmares but he seemed to know the basic outlines.

“They come stronger a week prior to the full moon, I’ve kept a diary of dates and how strong they are, these dreams reoccur 7 days precise to a full moon”

I drew in a deep breath, realizing how I was passing myself off as, any minute now, the men in white jackets would be bursting through my front door!

“It always ends with the same male attacking me, He’s not a wolf but not a man, I cannot see his face but I know who he is”

I stopped there, realizing Nate had a fix stare on my face, my heart had begun pounding like before, and I pulled my blanket up from the side of the sofa, to cover my top half and sighed again.

Reassuring me, Nate passed a final comment on my state, “They are just dreams Jen, don’t worry” .

Nate stood up and walked over to me, pressing his cool lips against my forehead, before pulling away and running his hand down the back of my neck. A shiver of excitement run through my body, with Nate smiling, he knew exactly what his presence, let alone his touch, did to me!

“I have to go for now Jen, I promise to be round tonight, 8pm OK with you?”

Still frozen by his touch, all I could manage was ‘perfect’ as he walked out the front door.

What am I going to do with myself; I ask that every single morning he leaves.

I looked over at the small clock on the radio across from me, it flashed 6am, I must have been sitting there dazing for a good half an hour after he left. At that point I decided to go for a hot shower, maybe it would shake me from my weird mood that I woke up with this morning, hopefully.

Walking up the stairs, I stopped and turned around to spot Merlin on my heels.

“Maybe I should check the front and back doors are locked Merlin, peace of mind and all”

Merlin looked at me blankly and retreated upstairs to my bedroom, whilst I trotted round downstairs.

You see, the difference between Nate and any other male I have known, is a simple fact, Nate is not human but a Vampire.